Setting a Goal for the Year

So much to do. So little time. The clock is ticking on the new school year, and I am still reflecting on my goals for the year. I've always taken on the world, confident that I can manage everything that comes my way, but it's clear I've dropped a couple of balls that have cost me dearly by doing so. Leadership opps have come and gone, and I've failed to carry them to the finish line. Perhaps I am ready to learn to say no, to do less better. I think that is it, my goal for the year: DO LESS BETTER.

I have a tough year ahead: three preps ALL YEAR.  Very full classes. Model UN and Debate are in need of continued refining, though I am certain I will hire help full time this year.  Cindy Stark seems ready and willing. Doing less better will mean handing over my baby to some capable hands. 

Doing less better means I leave this blog now to finish getting my plans for the first three weeks ready. To all my fellow teachers, hang in there. We are all growing and learning as this year of blogging will demonstrate. I hope this blog will help me to keep track of my own growth and perhaps allow anyone reading this to feel better about themselves! If any of my mistakes prevent someone else from making the same ones, better yet!

"Mom, quit stressing."

It's that time of year. August rolls in and the school year ahead looms large. All summer, I've been reading about teaching, excitedly developing new ideas, but now as the year races toward me, and the to do list before school starts grows exponentially, I begin to get edgy. I need to get ready!

I've looked over my class list - seen their faces. I imagine the relationship I will build with each, how I will learn about them, how I will reach them and teach them. Does everyone do this??? I love this part, but I also worry about it. When I read about ideas, I feel I've done it all wrong in the past. Can I do better this year? Can I implement in a consistent manner? Ugh.

My daughter just left for a triathlon in another state. On her way out, her parting words were, "Mom, quit stressing." I didn't even know that I was.

Sucker-punched - Day One

I've had all types of jobs, but I think teaching is the only one that has had the ability to sucker punch me so hard that I am nearly paralyzed and can't breathe. It comes out of the blue. Teaching takes so much energy that some days, if I don't put it in cruise at 75, I cannot do it at all. The organization of it all, the attention to the needs of so many, you just have to put it into high gear and do as much as you can. This is exhilarating and enjoyable, until you collide with a force outside of the classroom. Then it truly does feel like you have just been through the shock and trauma of a car accident. It's debilitating.

I'm not saying that some of these occasions aren't warranted and necessary, but most of these occasions have stemmed from what I perceive to be a slightly out-of-control "kids first" movement, a movement that has put power in the hands of the kids via parents, administrators, special education teachers, and even by teachers who have learned to acquiesce to popular policies around behavior and grading, just to avoid trouble. Some occasions that have brought this traumatic response on in me and my colleagues: 

• Having the principal take a complaint from a parent about us. This is the toughest one for the teachers I know, male and female, experienced, but especially inexperienced.  These complaints are usually something along the lines of a student feeling disrespected, a student disagreeing with a bathroom policy, a technology policy, a student feeling picked on due to race, sexuality, not being a "favorite." Sometimes it's a grade and the parent is questioning why you are grading so hard. I've had a parent tell me "We sent him here for baseball, Sheila." Another threatened to remove their son from the school if he wasn't getting a good grade by the end of the trimester. Most have been told in the past that Johnny is a genius, so clearly the problem lies with the teacher. Each of these complaints can leave you feeling helpless, even bullied. Was it NCLB that turned the tables on teachers to make sure not one student, regardless of background, history, behavior, home life, race, sexuality, creed would ever slip through the cracks? Saying that that is impossible feels like a guilty pleasure because no way would we be caught dead admitting that we can't really do it. The principal getting the call is not getting calls about the passive teacher who avoids conflict and gives As. No. S/he is getting calls about teachers actually trying to reach kids, and maybe making well-intended mistakes along the way. As a principal, it would be so much easier to lead a school full of teachers who play it safe. The risk-takers are T-R-O-U-B-L-E. But I wonder if they aren't the best and most influential teachers at the end of the day.
• Taking a terse remark from a colleague or administrator. It just feels like it takes a lot of energy to do the job in the first place, and nothing sucks the wind out of your day like criticism or the complaint of a colleague. 

Today's incident was particularly rough just because of the timing. When August 1st rolls around, I get excited about school. Ive usually read books on education over summer so August sees me setting up my classroom and changing my lesson plans to reflect my newest ideas. I get my debate and Model UN team started. We meet to get the ball rolling for the season which starts in September. This year I am honestly gunning for a leadership award with MIFA for my work in trying to get the SW side of the state up and flourishing with Public Forum teams. So when they called me to say they would like Gull Lake to host the camp due to our strong participation, I was excited and flattered.  

I contacted my principal to request the rooms, acknowledging that I had checked the school calendar to see what was happening in the building that day and noticed we had freshman orientation. This takes place largely in the cafeteria as I well know given that I'm always present to help at orientations for the purpose of recruiting members for debate and MUN, but students will walk around and look at the hallways and such. I received a peeved email response from my principal asking if I'd said yes before asking him and that he did not like the idea of having this camp in the building the day of orientation. Sucker punched. 

I'm sure it's me, and he has helped me sneak things by in the past due to my assumptions about what I should be able to do for kids. But damn, rough start!  

The Why and Wherefore of this blog...

Lifelong learning. Pursuit of excellence. Innovation. Big ideas. Reflection. Greater clarity. Leadership. Wisdom.

These are all words that come to mind when thinking about the "Why and Wherefore" of this blog. For this first post, I had to look up synonyms for the boring word "purpose" and decided on the folksy "Why and Wherefore" for this title, and then I had to look up the meaning of "wherefore" which means "for what reason." I am moved by the idea that if I do this - whatever this is - I will come out on the other end better. Maybe others will like it and it will generate a following that will generate change of a positive sort.

This is the hamster wheel work of a teacher - deciding on a goal, getting caught up in how to make it creative, interesting, and appealing to others, but sometimes getting more caught up in the frantic doing of something...anything...that we end up like the hamster - getting nowhere fast. I assume I will often wonder if I'm making any progress at all with this blog, caught up in the idea that if I really give it my best, really run as fast and furiously with it as I can, that I will have achieved something great at the end, not knowing where that is. That's what this is all about: learning to hop out of the wheel, really think about the destination, about the journey, about the purpose; to learn to go slowly, deliberately, with a clearer vision of where I am going. That is the why and wherefore of this blog.

It was inspired during a run yesterday (which means I haven't fully considered its purpose and merit, yet!) but the spawn of the idea was a lot of pure gold culled from the Audible version of Teach Like a Champion by Doug Lemov. I can't stop listening to it, but as I listen to more and more of it, I fear the sheer volume of ideas I must implement right now is going to result in failure to do any of it! I needed to come up with a way to mindfully employ, reflect, and share these ideas (and others) in logical, bite-sized pieces so that I can use them to become more effective over time. I hope to build a community that can share experiences, ideas, and wisdom. I hope it can be a source of humor and reassurance to new teachers. I've been a high school English teacher for eight years, now, and a university adjunct in communications, journalism, and technical communications before that. I have a lot of experience in which to anchor these ideas and prioritize, so in that way I am more fortunate than a new teacher who might be reading the same book. It is easier for me to predict how my students will respond ahead of time and hopefully navigate the hurdles that will inevitably arise. I am not afraid to fail. I am, however, afraid of not trying because of feeling overwhelmed as we teachers so often are. I hope this blog will lend Structure, Accountability, Wisdom, Courage, Direction, and Results.

Finally, I know that this blog will be a record of the kinds of obstacles and frustrations we teachers face - issues around grading, parental "involvement," technology, evaluations, unions, the pressures, the failures - but it will no doubt also be a record of the feel-good moments, the successes, the little victories, and what makes teaching great - besides those solid 6 weeks of summer when experienced teachers, anyway, are truly mentally away from teaching before today...August 1st...rolls around, and we begin the journey again. That is why I wanted to be sure to begin this blog today, prematurely, perhaps, because it is they day most teachers will tell you is the beginning of the new school year for us. We may not be required to be in our rooms yet, but we most definitely ARE in our rooms, even if we are home.

Caveat: I am an English teacher, but a busy one. I'm not promising that my posts will be eloquent or perfect. If I obsess over making sure it is all correct, it won't get posted. It also will sometimes, no doubt, reflect my personal responses to the politics of education, but I do not expect others to value what I value to the letter either.